The invisible walls of HERE have imprisoned all of us at one time or another. HERE is often associated with physical locations – like staying in our current city or staying in our current job. But the more powerful form of HERE is invisible. It is the mental and spiritual HERE that is the most destructive. An inner HERE manifests in the form of deciding to remain in our current relationship or holding onto a long-held, out-of-date perspective. Every form of HERE limits our potential and does not allow for new opportunities, perspectives, or growth. Escaping from HERE requires great effort because the benefits of HERE are so enticing to the wiring of our caveman brain. HERE is automatic, but THERE is effortful.
Why is HERE so powerful? HERE feels safe because it is known. We are comfortable with HERE. HERE offer stable, expected outcomes. We choose to stay HERE because we know what happens HERE. We understand how HERE operates. Even when bad things happen HERE, we know precisely how bad things will be. Before we know it, HERE is our default setting. The ebbs and flow of HERE become predictable. The ease of HERE becomes its most valuable (and only) asset. There is no doubt that at some point, all of us require the easy resting place HERE provides. But when “HERE to rest” becomes “HERE to stay,” we risk becoming soft, entitled, risk-averse creatures of habit.
The benefit of THERE is not related to the actual destination, but the true value of THERE is found in the work required in moving from HERE to THERE. The value of THERE is in the effort needed to navigate the trip to arrive THERE. It is not surprising to discover that a recent British study found that “moving to a new home” is the most stressful life event. The process of transitioning from one location to the next – whether physical or mental – is HARD. Anytime we move from HERE to THERE, we are required to learn new skills, overcome new challenges, conquer unforeseen problems. The road to THERE is filled with snares and pitfalls. But it is the stress of the trip that unlock the benefit of THERE. The growth is not found in the better view of THERE, but rather the growth is found in the difficult obstacles overcome on the journey from HERE to THERE.
In the end, the exact location of your THERE is irrelevant. The true value is getting out of your comfort zone and moving THERE. Each of us lives in a unique HERE, and it is up to each of us to decide the right time to move to our next THERE. THERE might be a political point of view or a spiritual belief. THERE might involve race or sexuality. THERE could be exiting an unproductive or even abusive relationship. THERE might be viewing yourself in a new light or creating a new inner dialogue of self-talk. Whatever your THERE is, don’t let fear be the deciding factor in your decision to get moving. Franklin Roosevelt said, “Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the assessment that something else is more important than fear.” I don’t pretend to know your specific THERE, but I do know that it is critical to move from where you are standing now. Have the courage to do the HARD thing, purposefully decide to move to your next THERE.