Researchers have discovered that it is much more advantageous to view life through a negative lens. In a 2001 article published in the Review of General Psychology, the authors explained that it is evolutionary adaptive for “bad” to be stronger than “good.” Organisms that are better attuned to bad things are more likely to survive threats. Therefore, a person who ignores the possibility of a positive outcome may later experience regret, but the person who ignores the danger of a potentially bad outcome may end up injured (emotionally or physically) or dead. We know that humans absorb negativity seven times more easily than positivity. This trait is why we remember the bad times more than the good times. We are hard-wired to pay closer attention to the negative forces in our environment. So, it becomes even more important to intentionally focus on positivity.
I don’t want to be ignorant about the troubling things that occur every day. Bad things happen. People endure horrific life situations. Everyone experiences challenging times that include sorrow, pain, and sadness. The human existence, in itself, makes bad things an inescapable reality. To make matters worse, often, we can not immediately improve our circumstances. We can’t snap our fingers and magically make our pain disappear. While we can’t force our things to improve, we can avoid making them worse.
It all starts with self-talk or the internal dialogue with yourself. The little voice we all have that is chattering away throughout our day. We control this voice. We give this voice words and perspective, which ultimately empowers this little voice to dictate our actions. The message of our inner voice is dependent on the fuel we provide it. Negative fuel gives this voice negative words, while positive fuel creates positive words. The fuel powers the message. The message directs our actions, and our actions dictate our outcomes.
The law of substitution suggests that we can only keep one thought in our minds at a time. The challenge becomes, how do we keep these thoughts positive even when our circumstances are truly difficult. This is what makes positive HARD. We must work to control the self-talk of our minds. The food that feeds positive thoughts isn’t just sitting around; it must be hunted, prepared, cultivate, gathered, and consumed with purpose. Conversely, negative thinking is like cheap, processed, junk food that is available everywhere. So, here are some things you can do to make positive self-talk a little easier.
· Eat three meals of “gratitude” per day. Most of us consume three meals per day to replenish the fuel our bodies need to run, so do the same for your positivity. Start each meal by thinking of three things you are grateful for and pick three different things each meal — don’t cheat!
· Make A Mix Tape of Positivity. Most of us have phones that have voice recording capabilities. Go on your computer and find positive talks, podcasts, sermons — put some time in to listen to positive messages. Find the sections that inspire you and record them. You don’t need to have a ton of technical training, simply put your phone by the speaker of your computer — record. Get a thirty-minute mix-tape. Play this recording throughout the day.
· A Trigger Quote. Find and memorize a small but powerful message that inspires positivity. It can’t take more than 5 seconds to recite. It has to have personal significance and trigger you to think positively. My own Trigger Quote is a verse of scripture: Hebrews 13:6 “The Lord is my helper. I will not be afraid.” Feel free to use mine, but I would challenge you to find your own.
It is easy to be overcome by the negative thoughts, to wallow in the tough circumstances. It is easy to make things worse and hold-on-to the negativity created by difficult situations. Don’t stay in that space. Instead, make the HARD choice and choose positivity.