Tis the season for MORE . . . spending MORE money, doing MORE activities, and giving MORE time. The money, activities, and time in themselves are not bad, but the holiday season generates a toxic volume of MORE. It is the quintessential perfect storm of MORE that strikes between November 15 and January 1. Here are some survey results that illustrate how the pressure of MORE impacts our stress levels around the holidays.
· 45% of Americans would prefer to skip Christmas altogether (2018 Think Finance survey)
· 69% of Americans stressed by the feeling of having a “lack of time”
· 69% of Americans are stressed by a perception of a “lack of money”
· 51% of Americans are stressed by the “pressure to give or get gifts”
What makes LESS so hard? Why do we struggle to create a manageable holiday experience and truly enjoy ourselves? LESS is hard because it requires the word NO. MORE is prevalent because it feels better to say YES. MORE makes us feel important, valued, and that we are actively working towards something tangible. The action required to obtain MORE muffles any serious thoughts of introspection. We fool ourselves to think that MORE equates to better, so we chase MORE by answering YES. We are shocked to discover that MORE lacks the substance required to create anything of meaning.
In my own struggle to pursue LESS this holiday season, I have found myself relying on the word NO. In the last week, I have had to say NO to volunteer opportunities, family requests, social events, and that one extra gift for my kid. NO has offered some protection against the empty outcomes that materialize from MORE. LESS creates boundaries and leaves room to breathe.
For me, focusing on LESS has been hard. LESS sucks, and I am not immune to the allure of MORE. MORE feels good. I want MORE. My kids are happy when they get MORE. I am surrounded by people doing MORE, spending MORE, and having MORE. My senses are inundated by MORE and so it is no wonder I subconsciously chase MORE.
But in my struggle to pursue LESS this holiday season I realized that I need to practice saying NO throughout the year. I wonder if I was mindful about saying NO and doing LESS the other 11 months of the year, would doing LESS during the holidays be such a shock to my MORE addicted system. It is like I have been sitting on a couch all year saying YES, YES, YES and then the holidays show up and require the marathon of NO, NO, NO. I haven’t trained for the Marathon of NO, so I show up and try to do my best but I simply don’t have the muscle memory required to complete the race.
Better experiences, better relationships, better outcomes require focused intentionality that is only possible when we do LESS. LESS is only possible when we use NO at a greater rate than we use YES. So, as we all gear up for those new years resolutions, maybe one should be to say NO more often in 2020.
